John W., my sister’s ‘best friend’ and husband – 1/29/2013

John passed away last night before my sister was going to have him taken off lifesupport. He would have been just 50 years old this coming April.

My thanks to everyone who’s commented and offered prayers, and my apologies for not replying yet, I just don’t have it in me tonight. I’m just too upset at Life right now for being so damned cruel and unfair, it’s just not right…


Prayers urgently needed

My sister, the one who is ex-army, and her boyfriend (the grandfather of little Jack who had the heart transplant) lived together for 8 years. In September, they decided to get married.

Sunday night, they came home after going out to dinner. Then her husband, John, suffered a massive stroke and was rushed to the hospital and ICU.

My baby brother and his wife jumped in the car and called me at 2 am on their way to LA from San Francisco.

Later calls brought the news that, though there was some evidence of thinking going on, there was nothing the doctors could do, that he was still bleeding out and they don’t think he will last long.

My brother told me that, once the doctors declare him brain dead, they’ll wait 24 hours before taking him off life support. Apparently John had long made his wishes clear that in an event like this, he did not want to be kept alive by machines, and my sister plans on respecting those wishes. Even though she’ll have to say goodbye to ‘her best friend’.

I don’t know if there are miracles out there, but if you could say a prayer to whatever gods or goddesses or spirits you believe in, I’d be grateful. Because right now, my heart is breaking for my sister, who was alone for so long before she found John, and now the life she thought they’d have together is being torn away. And that is just so heartbreakingly unfair.

Health advice needed

It’s been ages since I last updated, things have just been a little crazy with the car accident, being hospitalized, and then the holidays. I haven’t caught up on my flist reading yet, so I hope you’re all doing well.

As always, I’m reaching out to the collective hive mind of my flist for advice on a medical issue. About a week or so ago, I started noticing a localized pain midway down my spine. The pain is different from the chronic spinal pain I always have. Of course, it’s in an area of my back that I can no longer reach – the mastectomy destroyed some of my range of motion, so I literally can’t reach back to that area. Since the pain was steady and worsening, I finally had my mother look at it for me – she gets upset whenever she sees any of my many surgical scars so I try to avoid that. I apparently have a big lump right over my spinal column, about 1 inch in diameter. It isn’t a pimple and there’s no ‘head’, but it is slightly reddened and definitely tender to touch (I can’t really stand leaning my back against anything firm now).

After consulting the almighty Google, I’m guessing it’s one of two things – it’s either a sebaceous cyst or some sort of tumor. Obviously, I’m really hoping for the former and trying not to think about the latter.

So here’s where I need your help. Unfortunately,  I don’t have insurance right now and can’t afford to go to the doctor to get it checked out and treated. I don’t even have ‘leftover’ antibiotics from any previous procedures that I could take to try to bring the swelling (and hence, the pain) down. Does anyone have any advice, tips, suggestions, etc. as to what over-the-counter,  natural, or home remedies I can try? If it weren’t so uncomfortable, I’d be able to deal with it unaided, but I’m getting desperate.

So, any advice? Any and all suggestions would be tremendously appreciated. Thank you *hugs*

New Car

Insurance finally completed the paperwork on my totaled car, so we were able to replace it Saturday. Same model and year, just a different color:

Tomorrow, I get the joy of getting up by 5 am to drive to the train station for the trip into the city to see my orthopedist. Don’t mind the visit itself, especially since my ortho is a nice guy and I like him, just not looking forward to how uncomfortable the trip is going to be on my back and ribs. Though I’ll be picking up my pain med renewal scripts, that won’t even help until I’m home, since I’m driving and can’t take the meds until the trip is over.

Ugh, must think happy thoughts… must think happy thoughts…

Updated Update

Am now home. Of the good, regular ortho is having mini-refill of pain meds expressed to me for delivery tomorrow. Of the suck, am minus the lidocaine patches the pain management doc prescribed for my fractured ribs, as Rite Aid wanted, oh, in the neighbourhood of $270 for just 30 patches.


Can’t win them all, huh?

ETA: Updated the updated update to add that each time I end up in the hospital? I wind up with a more and more colorful collection of wrist bracelets…


Been hospitalized since Monday.Ended up vomiting from migraine and then back and rib pain went crazy. Turns out ribs are fractured and I have several deeply bruised vertebrae.

Oh what fun…

Hopefully will be released tomorrow. And then I just have to suck it up until I see my regular ortho on Tuesday, when I can get my pain management meds refilled. Really hope things get at least a little better before the holidays or this month is going to truly suck.


Firstly, thank you so very much to everyone who commented or messaged me regarding my last post. Your kind words and well wishes mean a lot to me and I am once again grateful and humbled to have such an awesome flist – thank you for being so wonderful and compassionate.

Secondly, we got a copy of the police report and it fully vindicates me of any responsibility for the accident. The other driver is guilty of failing to yield the right of way, and he even admitted to the police officer that he ‘hadn’t seen me’.

O.o. How he didn’t see me, in such a well lit intersection, at dusk with my headlights fully on, facing him head on? That’s a mystery that will never be solved. Though, I suspect he was too busy talking to his wife in the passenger seat to pay any attention to, you know, the actual *car he was driving*, or the road he was on during *rush hour*. If he happens to have a history of accidents? I will not be at all surprised.

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